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The Pursuit of Happiness: 10 Ways to Hold on to Your Bliss

Worry, stress, anger, jealousy… we’ve all had a taste of at least some of this. What you may not know, however, is that negative emotions are all illusions created by your mind—illusions created by your experience and stored in the master manipulator; the subconscious mind.

The problem is not your mind, however, although it is indirectly. The real issue is what you allow into your mind and how you react to perceived threats.

Happiness is a decision. You can be as happy as you decide to be. Here are 10 ways to ward off potential threats to your happiness.

1. Have No Regrets

We all make mistakes and can regret things we’ve done or never got around to doing. Don’t allow your past—the very thing your subconscious mind feeds on—dictate your present.

They say you can’t change your past, but in a way you can. Simply change your perception of it. Turn it into a positive in some way. That way your mind sees this as a good experience, something you’ve learned from. In the future, you will not feel badly when you think of the mistakes you may have made.

2. Face Your Fears

Get to the root cause of your fear. If you have stage fright or a fear of public speaking, were you laughed at or forgot your lines in the high school play? If you’re afraid of heights, is this an unreasonable fear?

Understand why you’re afraid and then release that fear. That doesn’t mean you have to climb to the top of the Empire State Building or scale Mount Kilimanjaro. Just let go of fear and you will be happier.

3. Maintain Your Integrity

If you’re not happy with yourself, you won’t be happy with anything or anyone else. Everyone has a moral code of conduct and values they were raised with or developed as adults. Don’t allow yourself to be swayed from this.

If friends don’t agree with you, that’s ok. You don’t need to sulk over it. Just stay happy and let them live their lives according to how they see it.

4. Be Generous

There are many ways to be generous that don’t involve money. Having a generosity of spirit is one of the most selfless things a person can do. Be kind, have a good word to say, bestow honest compliments, give of your time if possible, allow someone else to take the credit or be in the limelight.

5. Lose Control

We’ve all met control freaks; people who can’t let the smallest thing go by without giving their opinion on how it should be done or trying to make others do things their way. When their control is threatened, they can become ill-tempered.

Allow yourself to lose your controlling nature. Let the kids get dirty; leave the dishes in the sink overnight; allow your husband to watch the game on Sunday instead of mowing the lawn. You only get to control one life: your own.

Another way people maintain control is by never allowing themselves to be imperfect. Play like a child. Forget about who’s watching. Laugh and be silly. Eat off your diet.

6. Nurture Your Own Soul

Some people feel they need to have a significant other to be happy. But if you wait around for that someone to appear, you may be waiting a long time, or you may settle just so you’re not alone.

Don’t count on others for your happiness. Get out (or stay in) and do the things that bring you joy. And don’t do them while thinking about how much better they would be if someone else were with you.

7. Drop Expectations

We often put others on a pedestal, particularly those we love. But putting them up there means we expect a lot from them, and this can often lead to disappointment.

Allow people to live their lives according to their own conscience. Give them room to breathe. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have standards, just don’t expect everyone else to live by them.

8. Trust Yourself

As an adult, you should know your own mind. Follow your instincts and your gut. Don’t doubt yourself. And don’t put yourself down.

Use positive self-talk if you have an issue with esteem. Don’t ask others if you look okay, if they like your new haircut, or if they like what you’re wearing. If you like it, that’s good enough. If you don’t like it, having someone think you look okay is probably not going to change how you feel about yourself.

9. View Life Objectively

The human mind experiences things subjectively. In other words, our experiences are unique to us. How we view an experience as it happens determines our reaction to it.

Keep an open mind. Don’t allow jealousy or envy into your life. View everything from the perspective of someone who has nothing to gain or lose from the situation. In this way, you’ll be able to consciously determine your action rather than letting your subconscious mind do it based on your past experiences.

10. Keep a Positive Attitude

When it comes to happiness, this should really go without saying. Your thoughts and words influence your feelings, which influence those around you. The energy you give is reflected back to you.

If you get stuck in a negative dump, remove yourself mentally from the thoughts that are causing them. Find something positive to do temporarily. Then you can revisit those negative thoughts and it will be easier to figure out what caused them; why you reacted the way you did.

So perception plays a huge part in your ability to stay happy. Your subconscious mind perceives things based on your past similar experiences and reacts, or causes you to react, in the same old way.

By changing your perception of everything that makes you unhappy, you can reverse your world and be happy all the time. Then if someone puts a fly in your ointment, it will only be a short temporary stay.

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